You in my nightsky + 0 comment(s)

You were a star - one of the brightest perhaps. Every night I run to my window just to gaze at your astounding beauty. There comes a time of the year when I don't see you, but I know for sure that for a few months I would see you again.

And it stayed like that for years. Night by night I stare at your beauty, and you shine in my eyes as if you are reciprocating my astonishment. You were a beauty. Like gems trapped in the sky but somehow you outshined the rest.

Time after time, we grew older. More and more, innocence had grew upon me. More and more, science came in and pushed away the beauty of purity. I found out that you weren't real. I only see the light that shined thousands of years ago only to reach my eyes now.

Maybe our love was real. Maybe everything felt right. But somehow our timing was wrong. You were in the past and me, now.

It was the right love at the wrong time. But I have loved you relentlessly - the most authentic feeling I could feel.

Maybe we could meet again in the parallel universe, and maybe, by then, it would all fall into place.


Outside the glass + 0 comment(s)
[photo credit]

I used to believe that love is something you can't rush - or at least something you have to be sure of. I always believed in loving smart, having myself locked up inside a glass where I could see what's outside before I decide to let my guards down. However, I wanted to start believing that love does not have a time frame - that it could take several years, or maybe as little as few months. I wanted to start having the courage to take the more adventurous route to love where there is full of spontaneity, less thinking, and more on just letting where the waves take you. 

So I did. 

I was on this path. But I cannot deny the fact that I still have these hesitations within me. I know I still carry scars and even freshly cut wounds but I have decided to go on and traverse this new journey. But somehow, on the midst of bliss, irony decides for a visit. 

This had me wanting to crawl back and to shell myself back to the glass where I could see the world but seldom went out. Back to where I don't let anyone get pass through my guards easily. But as I look back, I see the path fading to an infinite darkness, I realized I was way too off, and lost my sense of direction going back to the glass where I protect my fragile self from the things that hurt. 

I'm losing, although not for sure. 

But I'm still hoping for salvation in this path.


Desktop vs. Tablet Age + 0 comment(s)

I once overheard two ladies talking on a public transpo. It seemed like one of them is a teacher. She had said, in our native tongue, that kids are becoming dumber and dumber. And this had caught me thinking, and had me realizing that I am out of that 'kids' generation. And thus, a new generation has finally been given birth.

If technology was to blame, I would strongly say that it is not entirely. I've been living in the realms of technology ever since I could remember. Then I tried to blink back memories on what I was doing nine or ten years ago, and I could see myself in a computer chair - glued to a computer screen. Maybe the age where technology was making us unhealthier started around my time, but making us dumb? Definitely not.

Then I have come to realize the difference between the type of technology which puts a thick line between our generation, and the generation of youth today. That is, during my time as a kid, the type of technology was in the desktop computers, or even part of that time where laptops. Whereas today, technology lies within smartphones, tablets, and alike. Okay you may ask, what's the fucking difference, but heck there's a lot.

Unlike in desktop computers, the internet is a vast (and wonderful) place. You go on an empty browser, with an empty address bar, and then your adventure awaits. You wouldn't know where it would lead you but heck, you load yourself with information (some useful, some dumb.. but you get my point) I know it sounds pathetic for the generation before mine, but hey.. okay anyway. Once you go into the the world wide web, you get informed. You get to see the world - see blogs, photos, news, and everything. And it gets you to be creative and fill yourself up with inspiration. But on the tablet age, as I would like to call it, you are bounded by specific apps, and what.. Facebook? And moreover, apps that require no thinking - unending and pointless games, which was specifically and originally designed to pass time, but this has dominated and quite injured the minds of children.

And this, I believe, have damaged the youth of today.



I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. 


And her titanic beauty was lying within the waves of Atlantic
Half deeply under with the dunes of lost souls
Decade after decade, each grain of sand encompasses her grace
Up till it reaches her majestic bow
And as it pierces through the earth's crust
Until the ocean consumes the wonderful shipwreck of dreams to the New World
And there could nothing be more beautiful and tragic at the same time,
Than the death of that unsinkable ship
Broken and shattered dreams
But becomes part of something beautiful as the ocean

April 24, 2015 - 3:18am
Late night thoughts


Gone with the wind + 0 comment(s)

Do ever feel like you're writing a book, or even a speech in your mind? Especially on those dull moments where physically, you look like you're just staring into blank space. Thoughts when you're taking a shower, lying on bed, taking the last bus home, or just waiting for your favorite coffee to be served? It looks like you're thinking of nothing special, where in fact, what people don't know is that your mind is running wild and beyond. Thoughts on random ideas, and creating your own theories on things and how they could possibly had happened. You try to give explanation on things unexplained, or maybe explained but you just didn't know about it.

I've had many of this experience, but what I lack is the ability to remember them all. Like, coming up with an awesome idea or thought, but when I come to think of it, it seems like it just went away. Like it just passed through me to literally just to pass through time, and how I wished I could have written my thoughts.

[Photo credit]


Overthinking made me create a blog + 0 comment(s)
It's 3:06AM in my clock, and this has been going on for weeks. Just when school is about to start. I'm having a very bad and severe case of insomnia, which is just quite recurring. I just hate the fact that you lie in bed and it makes you think about EVERY SINGLE THING POSSIBLE. So it made me decide to create a new blog. But actually, the main reason was I was hoping that maybe (just maybe), after I fix all the HTML crap in this template and finish my first post, I might actually get tired and could go to sleep.

So anyway, this is my fourth blog since I was 9, when I started blogging. I had not been a really big fan of creating blogs once it goes inactive. I'm not sure if I'm ready to let go of my previous blog because it's been with me for the longest time. I'm not even sure if what this new blog will be about. I guess my thoughts during insomnia?

Since this is a kickoff entry, I will post about truths about a frustrated blogger.

1. I like to know how my blog template looks like with multiple entries.
So you keep on blogging for the first few weeks.

2. What should I talk about next?
So you feel like you're writing for a magazine, talking about what you do in life, and how it might somehow influence someone else.

3. I should visit other blogs so they view mine!
And so, link exchanging was invented

4. Blogwalking
Translation: Go to my blog.

5. That was fun! I should share it to my readers.
And you plan to blog about the next event.

6. I need to blog that too, but I don't have time.
And there goes the pile of planned entries.

7. Does anyone actually read my blog?
Unless your famous or anything, truth is, people just visit your blog just to get hits on theirs.

8. No one cares.
So you get lazy.

9. Inactive.
You want to blog but, meh.

10. It's back!
You feel like blogging again.

So that's practically just me. Haha. But what I should say is, don't blog for hits, blog for yourself. And you might be even surprised that you'd get more hits because you would find people with the same interest as you :)

Well that was boring.